his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
