you turned your livingroom into a bong?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
