its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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