They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
