sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
