what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
