Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
