Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I have demons in me.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
