i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
