Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
