Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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