that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
