Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
