also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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