i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
