It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
