Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
operation harelip BJ is a go
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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