I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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