A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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