That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
