i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
