This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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