I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You were trust falling into bushes
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
