she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
