I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
