If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
A+ Viking dick
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
