ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
