:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
