When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
