did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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