So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
