so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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