so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
