Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
