you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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