So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
