I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
