Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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