So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
