Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
When did we convert life to cartoon?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
