Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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