i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
