My boss' voice literally gives me gas
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
