On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
