I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
nutella sex= disaster
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
