She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
