Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
