There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
