She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Randomize
