I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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