She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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