Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Hippo gnu deer
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
