Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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