Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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